My nights spent hiding in the field were torturous. I wanted to know what was going on. I needed to know that Jonathan was okay. What if King Saul took his rage against me out on his son? I would never forgive myself if Jonathan had been hurt.
On the morning of the third day, I saw an arrow fly, and heard Jonathan tell his servant boy that the arrow had gone beyond him. It was the signal to mean that I was not safe and must leave. I had suspected as much. And I knew now that Jonathan was safe. But I couldn’t leave it at that. I had to say good bye to him.
When I was sure the servant boy had gone, I rose up from behind the heap of rocks that hid me. Jonathan approached me, and I bowed low to him. But he sank down beside me, lifted my face from the ground, took it in his hands, and kissed me. And we kissed each other, and wept with each other. And I wept the more. I couldn’t stop. My entire life had been turned upside down once again – I had to leave my new home, and be vigilant for the king’s attacks. But those things, I could handle. Leaving Jonathan would be a greater struggle. Finally, Jonathan said, “Go in peace, since both of us have sworn in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD shall be between me and you, and between my descendants and your descendants, forever.’”
So, we knew that our covenant of love, the LORD as our witness, was deeper and wider and stronger than any marriage between man and woman. Even apart from each other in body, we would always share one soul.
And we went our separate ways.
And so it went. The following years were a difficult time for me. King Saul continued to pursue me, and I had no opportunity to see my dear Jonathan again. And then the news reached me that Saul and Jonathan had been killed during a battle with the Amalekites. I tore my clothes and wept loudly, grieving for the men who had become my second, albeit dysfunctional, family.
I lamented loudly, crying out:
“Your glory, O Israel, lies slain upon your high places! How the mighty have fallen! … Jonathan lies slain upon your high places. I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; greatly beloved were you to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women. How the mighty have fallen, and the weapons of war perished!”
Never again did I love someone as I loved Jonathan, though I tried. I took back my wife Michal, but I could never give her children or the love that she deserved.
My soul was bound up in Jonathan, and when he ceased breathing, it felt as if I had as well. Years after his death I still ached for him, longing to show him love. So, I adopted his only son Mephibosheth. He always ate at my table as if he was my own son. And, in a way, he was. He was born from my very soul. I would give anything to have Jonathan join us at the dinner table, but I know that as long as I breathe, a piece of my beloved still lives.
1 Samuel 20, 2 Samuel 1, 3, 6, 9
Neglected Word 