You know that moment when you realize you’re totally screwed? When you realize that, no matter what you do, it’s not going to go well for you?
When my father left to lead the Israelites in battle against the Ammonites, I thought that he might die, but not the women he’d left at home. But here we are, my father – laying on the ground, tearing at his hair, and wailing – and me – contemplating my new fate as a casualty of war.
“Alas, my daughter!” he had cried as I met him, dancing to celebrate his victory over our enemies and his safe arrival home. “You have brought me very low; you have become the cause of great trouble to me. For I have opened my mouth to the Lord, and I cannot take back my vow.” Specifically, he had vowed that whatever first came out of the house when he returned from battle would be sacrificed as a burnt offering to the Lord if he won.
Okay, so, first of all, dad – I have not brought you low. You did this to yourself. And to me.
Second, you should have been expecting me to meet you when you returned. Miriam danced and celebrated the Hebrews’ victory over the Egyptians, why wouldn’t I do the same? Greeting victorious soldiers upon their return is a normal thing to do.
Third, you are aware that there are laws in place to protect people like me, right? People who have fallen victim to hasty and dangerous vows? The law of the Levites says that a vow to the Lord equivalent to a human being can be redeemed with shekelim. A female between five and twenty years of age is only ten shekelim to redeem, so there’s really no reason for you to kill me.
These are the things I think as I watch my father writhe in tears and dust at my feet, but I can’t speak them. To say these things might be considered rebellious or stubborn. Rebelling against one’s father is an offense punishable by stoning.
So, I’m dead if I do, and dead if I don’t. No matter what I do, I’m totally screwed.
Since I clearly can’t win, I decide to negotiate within the limits of the inevitable. “My father, if you have opened your mouth to the Lord, do to me according to what has gone out of your mouth, now that the Lord has given you vengeance against your enemies, the Ammonites.” A little flattery never hurt. Now that he’s buttered up, I go in for the negotiation: “Let this thing be done for me: Grant me two months, so that I may go and wander on the mountains, and bewail my virginity, my companions and I.” Such a precious resource to be wasted, a young virgin who could be traded for a great dowry.
“Go,” he says. So, I do.
Hopefully two months will be long enough for my father to come to his senses and realize that he’s being a stubborn, proud idiot who doesn’t need to hurt me. Or at least, that in killing me he ends his family line entirely. Maybe that hint about my virginity will remind him that I am, if nothing else, an economic advantage to him.
And if none of that occurs to him, perhaps two months will be long enough to come up with some kind of escape plan with my friends.
Or maybe I’ll be mauled to death by wild animals so that I don’t have to suffer through being burned alive.
Somehow, I will get out of this.
Judges 11, Exodus 15:20-21, Leviticus 27:1-8, Deuteronomy 21:18-21
Neglected Word 